Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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