based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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