are you still at the devil's house?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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