I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
