redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
