I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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