well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it because I queefed?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
