My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.