Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.