The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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