i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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