We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I looked at my own cervix.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
