I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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