But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.