Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off. (1-513): trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis. http://tfl.nu/8skg
  Replies (23) Good night (2608) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something. http://tfl.nu/k1os
  Replies (22) Good night (708) Bad night (5312)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn
  Replies (32) Good night (1180) Bad night (5799)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore" http://tfl.nu/cs3y
  Replies (16) Good night (5121) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember. http://tfl.nu/ugc6
  Replies (8) Good night (2783) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone" http://tfl.nu/xglm
  Replies (14) Good night (3453) Bad night (1631)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either http://tfl.nu/fc5z
  Replies (5) Good night (2959) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/6vuz
  Replies (6) Good night (3383) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (1488)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time. http://tfl.nu/5b3l
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (527): View more from

  I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.

  (1-527): View more from

  Top night. Top night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (527): I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered. (1-527): Top night. Top night. http://tfl.nu/68t6
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina. http://tfl.nu/bvik
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...? http://tfl.nu/1yog
  Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead http://tfl.nu/0hvl
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious.. http://tfl.nu/rub0
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (576)

Randomize