dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.