Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me http://tfl.nu/bq34
  Replies (20) Good night (1216) Bad night (4516)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/s498
  Replies (4) Good night (3520) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober http://tfl.nu/ny6e
  Replies (22) Good night (5949) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying. http://tfl.nu/4ymz
  Replies (18) Good night (2390) Bad night (3599)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db
  Replies (30) Good night (8054) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv
  Replies (5) Good night (2034) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential http://tfl.nu/2o4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3285) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures. http://tfl.nu/02tx
  Replies (6) Good night (1116) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv
  Replies (8) Good night (1551) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off. http://tfl.nu/w3pn
  Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude http://tfl.nu/hndb
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home" http://tfl.nu/xfn6
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five http://tfl.nu/6fgb
  Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening. http://tfl.nu/53fl
  Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (239)

Randomize