Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
