I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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