you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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