remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
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