I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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