I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
