so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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