dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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