Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
