she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
