yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
