I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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