the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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