he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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