What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I see more hoeing in ur future
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