are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I touched a dick in church today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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