Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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