i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
