another moral hangover. fuck.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
