Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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