Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
