I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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