Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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