So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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