Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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