My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize