she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
