I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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