hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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