"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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