I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
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is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
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no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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