i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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