what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
