sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
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I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
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Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Holy shit dude........stairs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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