a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
