your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize