There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
