i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
