Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
