oh god the rape fog is back!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
