an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize