i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize