she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
