I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
