dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Porn is love you can see.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
