have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
