I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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