I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
