drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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