If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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